Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
