Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Drunk is not a location!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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