yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
