He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
