I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Randomize
