I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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