is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
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