ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
