I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
