there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
