They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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