Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
