I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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