hotel room ftw
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
