Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
