Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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