i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i came on her dog
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
