How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
