I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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