fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This is my gift to your gina
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
