Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
