Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
