Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
