The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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