What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize