a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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