You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
