I feel great
I just peed on a car
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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