i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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