I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
