You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
