It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Your penis caused this!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
