She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
