she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
