I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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