I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize