There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
