i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
