Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
