That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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