You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
