theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize