how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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