I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize