do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
