the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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