hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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