for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
