well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize