Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize