He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
