everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
