Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
