Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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