Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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