YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
be right there i have to get my cape
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
