At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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