ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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