He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
