how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
