go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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