eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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